5 April 2015

Easter Weekend & a little bit of life lately...


Hello everyone! I hope I'm finding you all full of chocolatey goodness this Easter Sunday?
This is going to be quite a rambly post, so bear with me. Over the past month or so I've been really bad at blogging. I haven't been reading as much as I'd like to but I'm always a bit stuck for what else to talk about so it's taken kind of a back seat. There have been a few things going on in my life that I've felt like getting off my chest, but I've been reluctant to put them here. I'll get on to that by the end of the post if you're still with me! But first things first, let me tell you what I've been up to this Easter weekend.

If there's one thing I'm loving since switching jobs, it's that I actually get to enjoy bank holidays! Usually I'd be sitting here on a Sunday evening writing a post, painfully aware of the time getting ever closer to Monday morning. As it is now I'm looking forward to another day off tomorrow instead of an early start and I couldn't be happier about it. This means I can read until whatever time I want tonight! I've had a lovely weekend too, starting with a meal out with my Dad and his wife at a great pub called The Roebuck just outside Otley. It's really lovely inside and I can't believe I didn't take a picture to show you, but there are some on the website here. The food is really good too! On Saturday, Paul and I went for a walk to town for a look around the shops, and then I spent today with my Mum, brother and sisters visiting Grandma as we do every Sunday. Afterwards, we had a drive around the countryside and parked up for a walk at Yeadon Tarn. Sunday is always a family day for me and I hope it continues to be for a long time, I love spending time with them.

Generally speaking, I'm really glad to see the back of March. It felt like it really dragged compared to January and February and it hasn't been a great month for me. At the moment I'm feeling really frustrated as it seems like a lot of things aren't in my control any more. Earlier this month I was told that my temporary contract at work would be coming to an end, and I'd have to interview to keep the job permanently. I knew this would happen at some stage and I've been looking for something else since starting, but I've had a lot of rejection, which I'll come back to in a second. Long story short, I've applied and got the job, but instead of feeling happy and settled I feel like I'm stuck with this job that was fine for temporary, but not something I really want to do in the long run, and will now be harder to get out of. I don't mean to sound ungrateful - I know I'm very lucky to have a permanent job lined up even if it's not one I'm crazy about. I suppose I thought I'd have more time to find something I really wanted to do and then it was taken out of my control, the contract ended, and I've had to apply to keep the job out of necessity instead of choice.

I've experienced a lot of rejection this month and in January and February, which I expected to a certain extent in the graduate job market, but it's left me feeling very disheartened. I've come to realise that some interviews didn't work out for a reason, but others I'm really disappointed about. I interviewed for a great job this week that I didn't get solely because I can't drive - the feedback from the interview was really positive, but I wasn't told beforehand that the role required some occasional travel and they needed a car driver. It was the only negative thing about my application and it's so frustrating because I'm feeling more and more like I wasted my time at university, working really hard to get my degree, only to have something else between me and my dream job. I'm kicking myself for not learning to drive sooner, but then it never really occurred to me it might be the only thing stopping me from being offered a job in the future. I went to university to supposedly overcome the biggest obstacle to a career and held down a part time job during, but I'm still finding that there are things in my way. Has anyone else experienced this? I think in general I'm just really not satisfied with the direction my life is going in at the moment. I'm hoping this all means something much better is around the corner. In the meantime, the next thing on my to do list is to apply for a provisional license!

If you've stuck with me til the end of this post, thank you so much for taking the time to read. I promise normal bookworm service will resume as soon as possible!
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4 comments

  1. I don't think what you are experencing is unusual - you've graduated and now are coming to terms with the almost routinal way of working life. The trick is to try and not make it so! I remember after graduation that I was quite lucky that I had a graduate placement lined up to start in September. Unfortunately it did exactly what I talk about,, it put me in a routine. At the same time my best friend was murdered but also had my first proper girlfriend, In truth what happened for the next year and a half is it all covered up the fact that I was deeply unhappy in my job and although it sounds terrible I realised I was dating a girl that I only had a physical attention to.

    It was a very brave thing to do but I decided that my life needed a drastic change and I took the decision to change jobs (taking a large paycut and annoying my parents) and unfortunately walk away from a lovely girl albeit one who probably realised it was the right thing to do.

    So don't just settle for the current job you have, look out for that job that you'll enjoy, that'll challenge you, that'll be different from day to day,

    Life has its up and downs all the way through. To the outside anyone looking at me would think I have the perfect life.. A good job, own my house, a wife, a new baby,,, but right now I'm struggling with life big time,, losing that best friend 14 years ago still haunts me. I still search for someone to call my best friend and while I'm close right now it's an emotional roller coaster and bringing back many bad memories,

    The worst thing you can do in life is build it up all inside, even blogging is a great way to let it out :)

    Xx

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  2. It sounds like you had a lovely Easter weekend, Holly - hooray for bank holidays! I love that you spend Sundays with your family - it's such a sweet weekly tradition. Now that I've moved out of my parent's house I really, really appreciate quality time spent with my family. I think it's definitely something everyone should remember never to take for granted.


    I'm sorry to hear you're in a bit of a life funk at the moment. I've definitely felt that way before - I think most people in their twenties feel this way from time to time! I've got a full time permanent job and I am really grateful (especially for the financial security which it gives me) but it's not the role I imagined myself in, so sometimes (especially on a Monday morning or before a particularly horrible deadline) I can feel myself get a little depressed. This isn't the life I imagined and it's frustrating waiting for everything to fall into place. I'm trying to focus on working hard, appreciating the little things and never being complacent - I try to always keep in mind what it is I want to achieve and where I'd like to be, and make decisions to nudge me along in that direction. It may take a little longer than I hoped but at least I can be content knowing I'm working to get to a happier place.


    x

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  3. Holly, that Easter hamper looks amazing! I completely understand how you're feeling job wise. It really sucks post-uni, especially if you're still a bit unsure of what you actually want. I'm in the same position with driving too. The only reason I have right now to learn to drive is if I got a different job, as I can't afford a car, or the insurance! I'm sure everything will piece together soon though :) good luck, sweetie! x

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  4. Hi there babe, u ok?

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    Anyway have a lovely week!

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